- Adam Feb 23, 2016 at 17:08 Rotting flesh is less offensive than you. I am high-quality, 100% plant-fed. How impressive! 1. My lawyer has stated that I dont have to answer that question. "Can't complain" is a normal response to the question, but by throwing in the following sentence, you should get a laugh. Congrats, guys! Stupidity isnt a crime. 56. This is a good response to throw out there. However, you can check out some of our ideas if you want to shake things up and change how you respond to how are you?. [Read: 33 very creative insults to intellectually insult someone with your sarcasm]. 63. - Anonymous. 85. But half the time, it is a nightmare. 91. Feeling confident? If you were twice as smart as you are now, youd be stupid. Best "How Are You?" Answers. June 14, 2022; pros and cons of stem cell therapy for knees . Could Be Payday. Here's the good news: I've collected plenty of answer options for you to make that unbearably awkward question a little more bearable. Rather than kicking yourself later when you think of something clever you should have said, keep a few witty insults and comebacks at the ready, just in case. Death is inevitablesome might even say it is a terminal inconvenience or a reason to suddenly stop sinning. Going strong. The only thing offending me right now is your face. Giving witty and interesting responses instead of the generic Im fine is often the smartest way to kickstart a nice conversation after the greeting How Are You?. Could Be Better. However, the time it takes for a puppy to grow up is a lot longer than it should take for someone to reply to your message. Follow for more funny content!! Some people spend all their time on their phone. So, you changed your mind? 3. Whoever cast a voodoo spell on my love life can chill now. Thats because Im still waiting for you. Doing fairly well, unless you have some contagious disease and are about to infect me . Thats because the person I like doesnt like me back. 86. Why do you ask? I used to think you were a pain in the neck. I am not sure what you mean. Have you been thinking? Reproduction without explicit permission is prohibited. We all grow up as we get older. Im reminded of how unfair life is every time I see you. Usually, people live and learn. All you have to do is save this page, or commit to memory some of our favorite insults from the following list, and youll be all set. Relationship expert Susan Winter recommends gracefully leaving as the quickest and easiest way out. To answer that question, I need to take you back about 12 years. Her sessions aim to bring about transformation in her clients lives, perspectives, and relationships. WHAT DID THEY SAY?? It does seem like a massive gap doesnt it? You can put your foot in your mouth and your head up your ass at the same time! Everything is always better on payday right!? Oh, what a long list. Im a wreck of a human being, thats why! still alive 810 GIFs. In reality, they are not cool, they are just rude. 101. How are you? 2023 The Arena Media Brands, LLC and respective content providers on this website. A A A Remember the time when you hated your ex too much that you wanted him dead? 4. Instead of listening to your opinion, how about I put on some cartoons for you, and get you a juice box? Sometimes, it can be hard thinking on your feet, especially when youre joking around with your friends or in the midst of a heated exchange. Are you going to marry me? Thats because Im like the last slice of pizza. "Alright. Whether its the Roman empire or feudal society. But it does help if you know your audience when responding to someone. Trying to remember the name of that weird person you remind me of. How much are you willing you pay me if I tell you? You are about as interesting as a documentary on dirt. Your question is registered, we will answer when in the mood. 4. Get the very best of LovePanky straight to your inbox! I was hoping you would be able to tell me that. 6. You a cop? ", This one works well when you're still in your pajamas or are having a bad hair day. 31. This one is bound to get a laugh. We cant always get what we want now, can we? 10. 10. You may have noticed that I take a step back when we talk. Well, Im married to our lord and savior, Jesus Christ. Im glad that I sleep so peacefully, knowing that Im single and aint nobody cheating on me tonight. For more information, please see our Cant complainI have tried, but no one listens. Thats because my crush is a fictional character. I dont feel that great, but look! I hate to break it to you, but Im not single. Not sure why you're asking me my age. Youre free to go. I learned my lesson. Hey, I can see straight to the back of your head when I look into your eyes! Things You Should Know about Birth Control Pills 62 Beautiful Makeup Inspos for Girls Who Are Not Afraid to Play with Color "Like an echo asking a shadow to dance on a mirage, this one is even funnier when an ugly person says, My friend always says "gooder". Ah, sarcasm. Im single by choice. When someone insults someone, the insulted might walk out of the room, or just stop talking to the other person. This way, youre insulting themand they just might be dumb enough not to notice. Reply. 2. He's jokingly texting if you're ok. More like, How I Met That Jerk I Quickly Forgot About. I have been going through GOT in my work life. Its good to see youre not letting education get in the way of your ignorance. 7. I have a gold watch that belonged to him. Brian OldWolf (author) from Troon on July 30, 2020: Yes, this is a very witty, funny article. The Arena Media Brands, LLC and respective content providers to this website may receive compensation for some links to products and services on this website. Maybe I am a kindergartner? I plead the fifth. 37. Here are some funny, witty, snarky, smart, and sarcastic responses to some of those annoying everyday questions its hard to avoid: I couldnt possibly cover all of the annoying everyday questions that are probably chipping away at you, but here are some of the most popular: Related 26+ Funny Responses to Being Asked on a Date (Replying Yes or No), Related 29+ Funny Responses to Compliments. Let me introduce you to a man who wrote a comeback so good, he instantly won a date. Because I prefer the company of dogs/cats rather than humans. alive # dead meat # tremors # kill count # survived # reaction # united states of al # dean norris # unitedstatesofal # you only live once reaction # united states of al # dean norris # unitedstatesofal # you only live once Every civilisation has its genesis and its conclusion. Getting into a romantic relationship with someone may seem like a good idea, but so was getting into Titanic. 39 Heartfelt Poems For Your Mom On Her Birthday, Mom And Daughter Relationship: Everything You Need To Know, 150 Special Ways To Wish Your Long-Distance Girlfriend On Her Birthday, 39 Long-Distance Love Letters To Show Your Love For Him, 51 Good Morning Messages For Her In A Long-Distance Relationship, 24 Beautiful And Touching Poems For People In Long-Distance Relationships, 15 Most Important Things In A Relationship, 61 Great Long-Distance Friendship Quotes And Sayings, 9 Important Qualities Of A Healthy And Happy Relationship. I see youve chosen this time to humiliate yourself in public. Virginia Woolf (author), "When I die, I'm leaving my body to science fiction." Keep talking. Maybe this person really likes you, and they have a heart condition. 97. With a self-assured stance and casual body language, you won't create any . Ive had worse. How dare you assume such a thing just a confusing remark. Sometimes, being emotional stops us from replying to the messages of others. How to respond to an ex asking how you are? If someone takes a long time to reply, it can feel much longer than it is. Looking for funny responses to everyday questions? The living are getting rarer. Eugene Lonesco (playwright), Dying is easy; its living that scares me to death. Annie Lennox (musician), If you die in an elevator, be sure to push the UP button. Sam Levenson (humorist), Ive looked that old scoundrel death in the eyes many times but this time I think he has me on the ropes. Douglas MacArthur (general), Those who welcome death have only tried it from the ears up. Wilson Mizner (playwright), The worst time to have a heart attack is during a game of charades, especially if your teammates are bad guessers. Demetri Martin (comedian), I intend to live forever or die trying. Groucho Marx (comedian), Death is a very dull, dreary affair, and my advice to you is to have nothing whatsoever to do with it. William Somerset Maugham (author), The art of dying graciously is nowhere advertised in spite of the fact that its market potential is great. Milton Mayer (author), At my age, I do what Mark Twain did. But, if you do say it, it will highlight the problem. 88. Don Draper? Elon Musk targets Bernie Sanders over tax tweet: 'I keep forgetting that you're still alive' The Twitter spat was in response to Sanders' demand that "the extremely wealthy pay their fair share." I only fall in love with anime characters. I havent found anyone who matches my kinks yet. I am doing a bit better than before, but not nearly as awesome as I am going to be. I really thought you already knew. To answer those who know you and the situation you're going through, use these replies. Brilliant! 43. [Read: How to be funny and make people love your company]. On a scale of 1 to 10, Id say somewhere between 1 and 10. I have found that people in a coma find it very difficult to hold a phone, turn it on, look at their messages, think of a reply, and then type out their reply. How Am I Still Alive. Because Jamaican me crazy! Congratulations, sir. OK, so now at least you should have some idea of how to respond if your ex texts you out of the blue. Copyright 2011 - 2023 IncNut Stylecraze Private Limited. If corporate email language won't do it, nothing will. Norman Wisdom (comedian), "I have lost friends, some by death, others through their sheer inability to cross the street." StyleCraze provides content of general nature that is designed for informational purposes only. Come on, now I want you to whisper that question slowly to my ear. (perfect for vegans). [Read: How to be a fun texter and make anyone laugh while reading your texts]. You do the work of three men: Larry, Moe, and Curly. In fact, they're taking too much of it. 2. No, not really. Dave Barry (author). I wrote him a cheque for it, post-dated of course. Chic Murray (comedian), When I die, I hope to go to heaven, whatever the hell that is. Ayn Rand (author), The only difference between death and taxes is that death doesnt get worse every time congress meets. Will Rogers (actor), "My grandmother was a very tough woman. How did you get here? But, if they were, it would be a valid reason for them taking so long to reply. Overwatch 2 Friendly Reminder To Leave a LIKE & SUBSCRIBE, ThanksJoin this channel to get access to perks:https://www.youtube.com/cha. If I wanted to commit suicide, Id climb your ego and jump to your IQ level. Of course, you don't want to brag, which is why this funny line is useful. I hope you are at your best too. Physically? 2. The person who told you to be yourself gave you some bad advice. Because nowadays, the industry prefers singles over albums. This is one of those worst epic responses to I love you makes us feel for the poor love-struck fellow. I'm happy! 96. If at first, you don't succeed, skydiving is not for you. This is another funny response that you can use to say that you did a little something different this morning. If someone clearly doesnt want to talk to you, the best thing to do is not talk to them. Sort: Relevant Newest # living # seth meyers # im here # its me # lnsm # tired # dead # shot # arrows # loser # hello # hi # hey # tap # listen # alive # pearl jam # eddie vedder # i'm good # i'm ok You are living proof that manure can learn to walk and talk. [Read: How to have playful banter and keep the flirting alive forever]. Getting better with every passing second. Your attempt at social interaction to be polite is hereby acknowledged. We found the best coronavirus memes about social distancing, toilet paper, homeschooling, as well as ways to spread a little more kindness. Nevertheless, it can be a great approach to start a lively discussion! 42. I only went to the gym four times instead of my usual five." Sarcastic response: "Yeah totally. 9. 4. Use the opportunity to make a good impression. Click here for additional information. Is It A Bad Idea To Lose My Virginity To An Old Crush? When someone takes a long time to reply, it can feel like an empire could have risen and fallen in that time. 87. Depends who you ask, if you ask me, it was fine. I dont chase them just to satisfy my sexual desires. Everyone always thinks being asked how you are means your health or a general standing-but what about if it isn't? Living an amazing dream. Hopefully, youll stay there. I was gonna try #6 "Any finer I'd be China." Its too small to be out there all alone. 1. If theyre too busy to text you back, you need to be too busy to continue having them in your life, or on your social media. 45. Here are 55 funny coronavirus memes that will make you LOL. Are you flirting with me right now? You may also like: 30 Best Responses To An Apology For A Late Reply. You don't want others to assume that you feel as horrible as you look, so this is the way to set them straight. Shane from The L Word? Spiritually? "See, I will finally make you smile.". It would be great if puppies would stay puppies forever. If this doesn't get a response, it's sure to get a laugh. By acting as though they are replying too fast, you highlight the fact that they are replying too slow. 11. but that was before I read Fred's comment below. 77. 11. Single is the new blackif that even makes sense! My bed only has enough room for me and my dog. Despite not being the most popular topic of conversation, the concept of death has inspired quite a few clever and insightful sayings over the years. "My level of sarcasm has gotten to a point where I don't even know if I am kidding anymore.". Living the dream! If I was doing any better, I would hire you to enjoy it with me. . You know when you go to meet some friends, or friends of your friends, or to a party or whatever, when you meet someone new, at some point people ask you: "SO WHAT DO YOU DO FOR A LIVING?" And what I wanted to do in this thread is list the craziest answers that you can give, you know, shock people or create an extremely awkard moment. (Use a sexy tone). 24. Mark Twain (author), "I like sleeping; it's like death without the commitment." Well, I was trying to be invisible but I guess that didnt work. conservation international ceo; little debbie peanut butter creme pies discontinued. With Tenor, maker of GIF Keyboard, add popular Are You Still Alive animated GIFs to your conversations. Why Give a Funny Response to an Everyday Question? Hemali is an ICF-Certified ACC Level Life Coach with 3 years of experience in relationship, marriage, and grief coaching. 66. 51. And trust us, once you use these lines, everyone will be ooh-ing to your snarky comments the next time someone dares to make fun of you! When you look at what some people have done for each other and compare it to what you expect. There is plenty of room. At minding my own business? As unlikely as this is, it might be wise to double-check. How do you usually respond to the question? I'm alive, whoa! Patrick Moore (astronomer), "Sometimes I wish my first word was 'quote' so that on my deathbed, my last words could be 'end quote.'" It is a basic courtesy that when one of your leads converts to a paying customer, you demonstrate your gratitude and make their transfer as smooth as possible. Whether my maker is prepared for the great ordeal of meeting me is another matter. Winston Churchill (politician), At a formal dinner party, the person nearest to death should always be seated closest to the bathroom. George Carlin (comedian), Dont send me flowers when Im dead. Best 45 seconds of my life. If laughter is the best medicine, your face must be curing the world. [Read: 30 foolproof pickup lines and 10 you should never ever use]. No, I'm Finnish. Thats why Im rooting for your penis. 3. 55. It depends on what or who I compare myself to. Your friends will expect you to say "fine" or "good," so shake things up by providing an unexpected answer. Save it for your best friend, but avoid using it on your teacher. Some people are going to find your witty responses funny, and some people arent. Whether you're in the jury or on the witness stand or on trial yourself, it's a tense and nail-biting environment. Still with us. I am better on the inside than I look on the outside. Be grateful if it happens in that order. David Gerrold (author), Self-decapitation is an extremely difficult, not to say dangerous, thing to attempt. WS Gilbert (dramatist), I bequeath my entire estate to my wife on the condition that she marries again. If you are not happy being single, then you will never be happy being in a relationship. It would be easy to answer that question with a simple "I'm fine, thank you.". 53. 82. The only way you'll ever get laid is if you crawl up a chicken's butt and wait. "I'm alright, mate". 67. This one gets to the point of what they want to know, it's humorous, and it makes ya think. Firing back with something a little funny or witty will make them take notice! If youre still single, some people will ask you for a reason or explanation, in one way or another. I'm alive! Figuring out how to respond to a ghoster is all a matter of accepting whats done. This just in: Bad communication skills are not trending this season! Do you ever find yourself getting annoyed with yourself because you just thought of an awesomely good comeback to something someone said earlier? When you show them how you're not affected by them at all, that's when your comedic skills become the best and make others laugh as well. "If it looks like I give a damn, please tell me. Someone took their costume way too seriously. Alternatively, you can let them know you are doing well but still need time to process your emotions. Funny as phuck. But it can be funny. Phil lives in England, UK, and has around 20 years experience as a professional life, career and executive coach. 32. "Hey You, I'm really good. Perhaps it will encourage them to respond quicker in the future. The friendly ghost would never leave you hanging. To text, most of us need our thumbs. Liked what you just read? I suggest you do a little soul searching. HubPages is a registered trademark of The Arena Platform, Inc. Other product and company names shown may be trademarks of their respective owners. I am doing wellor that could be my anti-depressants speaking. More like give me a sign that. Im in a loving, committed relationship with my bed. Plotting how Im going to take over the world. If receiving a text from your ex elicits strong negative feelings, it is best not to respond. Funny Answers to How Are You Doing? Not everybody may appreciate them. Id hug and kiss you if you were single, just like me. 5. But, because they have taken so long to reply, you have grown older and wiser. If you're taking a vacation and staying home, your clients or coworkers may still expect you to pop into the office and answer their emails. Its a before picture in one of those plastic surgery magazines, isnt it? That's impossible. (bonus points to you if you sing it). If this doesnt cause them to reply, then maybe you should rethink your friendship with this person. This one is good. Socioeconomically? Thats because theres no vacancy in my heart. He was a good OP, of impeccable character. By subscribing to this BDG newsletter, you agree to our. Thats funny, because everyone on it is a prick. It must have been a long, lonely journey. Financially? Thats because I eat Doritos chips too loudly. Steven Wright (comedian). You don't want to give the same, bland answer all the time. This one kills me! Your hair looks great! The 'Sex And The City' Cab Light Theory, Revisited, It's Hot When People Call You By Your Last Name, I Never Feel Older Than When I Try To Make A TikTok, Get Even More From Bustle Sign Up For The Newsletter. I'm fine. Theyre incapacitated when it comes to sending a simple text, yet they can Insta their whole day. Average, I think, that sounds about right. Do I look like someone whos into cheesy things like romantic relationships?! 62. Definitely will catch your casual convo counterpart off guard and will probably bring a chuckle. I agree, thanks for sharing. She buried three husbands and two of them were just napping." 1. 64. 3. Here are some of the most humorous replies to "How are you? 8. Try these OOO messages to let people know you're taking a break. I dont go around asking how youre still married, do I? But, they will grow up into a dog. Before I answer, I let you know that those who know my age get bad luck. Some of us are just destined to walk this world alone. Whilst university does present some challenges, it does not mean you need to take several days to reply to a message.if(typeof ez_ad_units!='undefined'){ez_ad_units.push([[120,600],'grammarhow_com-large-leaderboard-2','ezslot_16',108,'0','0'])};__ez_fad_position('div-gpt-ad-grammarhow_com-large-leaderboard-2-0');if(typeof ez_ad_units!='undefined'){ez_ad_units.push([[120,600],'grammarhow_com-large-leaderboard-2','ezslot_17',108,'0','1'])};__ez_fad_position('div-gpt-ad-grammarhow_com-large-leaderboard-2-0_1');.large-leaderboard-2-multi-108{border:none!important;display:block!important;float:none!important;line-height:0;margin-bottom:15px!important;margin-left:auto!important;margin-right:auto!important;margin-top:15px!important;max-width:100%!important;min-height:600px;padding:0;text-align:center!important}. You just have bad luck at thinking. 65. Cookie Notice "Fine" is a boring conversation-killer. . Moving in with Roommates? What a miracle. Not. I cant afford to die; Id lose too much money. George Burns (comedian), I do not fear death. 9. There are many other euphemisms you could use, though: Still ticking. Your response should depend on the rapport you share with the sender. People will often tell you Im too busy to text you back. Have a nice life." This text is excellent because you are making him or her feel guilty about ghosting you. Check-in later and well find out if I did or not. Oct 13, 2021 - Explore Beverly Sadler Majkut's board "MAXINE CARTOONS", followed by 864 people on Pinterest. Maybe they like you so much that it triggered some kind of reaction that ended their life. No, they're prison pants. Thats no excuse for treating someone like they dont exist, especially since 85% of participants said theyd rather be told upfront that someones not feeling it. Why is it OK for you to be an idiot, but not OK for me to point it out? "If at first, you don't succeed, skydiving is not for you.". Some of the best, wittiest, and most humorous quotations in the English language are quotations about age, childhood, adolescence, middle age, and old age most of all, about growing old! Ive seen your kind before but last time, I had to pay admission. 35 Amazing And Funny 70th Birthday Ideas T 35 Amazing And Funny 70th Birthday Ideas To Make It Memorable, 101 Cool And Different Ways To Say Hello And Greet People, 101 Cute And Adorable Responses To "I Love You", Funny Jokes To Tell Your Friends And Make Them Laugh, Interesting Speed Dating Questions To Ask Him Or Her, 101 Questions To Ask Your Crush To Know Them Better, 350 Truth Or Dare Questions To Have Fun At The Next Party. 11. If they insist that they are bad at replying, you should unfollow them, because you are bad at following people who are bad at replying. Whatever your thoughts on death may be, I hope you enjoy these random humorous quotes about mortality, death, and dying. I hope you like some of them. Maybe because I lick my plate clean after having a scrumptious meal. Youre totally on the same page. Make sure the person you say this to is able to take a joke. Youll go far someday. Youre supposed to think that theyre so busy being cool that they dont have time for you. Read about the differences between burning alive, staying alive and being dead or alive as we explore the many ways of keeping ourselves in the land of the living. For example, when people expect you to say yes, you say no; when people wish you to say a big number, you give a tiny number. I dont blame you, Ive had it up to my neck with annoying, repetitive, shallow everyday questions and I often respond with something funny, silly, or sarcastic to make it known. Things could be worse I could be you (for siblings ). Well, I have to go to work so Ill try and make the best of it. Sure, we all have things to do, but when someone takes two days to reply, that is a sign that they are the problem. It's quite the accomplishment. I'm so sorry I expected you to acknowledge my existence after hanging out? 47. Looks like I overestimated the number of brain cells you have. I dont have time to accommodate other human beings in my life! and our Whats with all these questions? upstart loan login; jim bell siloam mission salary; . Does anyone ever say anything interesting when you ask them that? My grandfather had a ton of these. Funny and Clever Answers to "Why Are You Still Single?". Let's face itat my age, I'm very pleased to be anywhere." George Burns (comedian) "The trouble with quotes about death is that 99.9% of them are made by people who are still alive." Joshua Burns. Here's one to use when you're having a spectacular day. 75. Was that comment meant to offend me? Just so you know, I value me time over we time. Impressive! If your best friends are worrying about you due to your new break up, this one you can use to make them feel relaxed. So, ditch the mechanical responses and adopt the witty and fun replies to keep the conversations exciting! Canva. After all, every single day that you're still alive is a good day overall. Sarcastic comebacks come in handy any time someone is behaving in a particularly annoying way. 5. Who knows, they might just do it. New comments cannot be posted and votes cannot be cast. Are you Jamaican? Wondering How You Are 1 I'm Better on the inside than I Look on the outside This one works well when you're still in your pajamas or are having a bad hair day. I dont think youre an idiot but whats my opinion compared to countless others? 73. Thats why Im single. I'm afraid I can't do that. I cant complain, not that anyone listens anyway. "I'll get back to you once I'm back from my long-awaited trip to the fridge.". You go first, lets see if mine was better or worse. Not bad. Are you serious? The content is not intended to be a substitute for professional medical advice, diagnosis, or treatment. Sure isnt my pay, Im still pretty broke. 20. This might be okay if they take up to 24 hours, but not more than that. Acting like a prick doesnt make yours grow bigger. I've Tried, but No One Listens, If I Was Any Better, Vitamins Would Be Taking Me, Better than I Was a Minute Ago, Because You're Here, Okay, Because My Name Wasn't in Today's Obituaries. I play hard to get even if nobody is trying to get me. This one is a bit long. "The trouble with quotes about death is that 99.9% of them are made by people who are still alive." I dont know whether to laugh at you or pity you. Thomas Andrew Lehrer (/ l r r /; born April 9, 1928) is an American musician, singer-songwriter, satirist, and mathematician, who later taught mathematics and musical theater.He recorded pithy and humorous songs that became popular in the 1950s and 1960s. Because Im awkward and ugly. If its better than yours Ill chalk it up as a win. Totally fine! I once showed up twenty-four hours early for a date. 1. Blogging about a wide range of topics to help facilitate a better future. Sarcastic response: Express the appropriate level of enthusiasm, then let this handsome, cheeky British man (aka Jimmy from You're The Worst) do the talking: 3. 26. If youre going to be two-faced, you could at least make one of them pretty. If you want me to accept you as you are, Im going to have to lie to myself about liking you. When you're mad, but don't want to ruin your impression, this is a nice way to reply to your crush or match. Funny Response to "What Are You Doing?" "I cry." Humor is about creating surprises. 68. Save the high-quality PDF version on your device now. Holy s**t, you can see me?! Maybe because I have a Ph.D. in impatience. 30. I'm not saying I hate you, what I'm saying is that you are literally the Monday of my life. This is the perfect time for you to become a missing person. Lets face itat my age, Im very pleased to be anywhere. George Burns (comedian), The trouble with quotes about death is that 99.9% of them are made by people who are still alive. Joshua Burns, All tragedies are finished by a death, all comedies by a marriage. Lord Byron (poet), Im always relieved when someone is delivering a eulogy and I realize that Im listening to it. George Carlin (comedian), For three days after death, hair and fingernails continue to grow but phone calls taper off. Johnny Carson (talk show host), I am prepared to meet my maker. Wait, are you my Superman/Wonder Woman? Or "Better than some, not as good as others.". Yep, thats about it just a confusing answer. His songs often parodied popular musical forms, though they usually had original melodies.